If I Was an Elf



Written and Image by Stephen Lubega

If I was an elf, I would be working for Santa, waiting for a raise. I got no raise. Instead, I got candy canes. Hi, I’m Xavier, Santa’s “Favorite” elf. (Although he calls EVERYONE that…)

My task is to keep my fellow elfs motivated. No one listens to me! It’s even making me angry thinking about it!


Each day, I go to the toys department and deliver the finished toys to the transportation department and then I press the grenn button and it gets transferred to Santa’s sleigh in with the 3 elfs: Benji, Benjamin & Ginger-benji unloads the carrage and slowly puts it in the sleigh. It’s a long process but hey, that’s buissness! A very, painstaking processed buissness.


When the day is done, all of the elfs go to their dorms and sleep. Others read on how they can socialize with their fellow humans. Yes, they’re a diffierent species then human. It’s called-yes, I know, it sounds weird-elfation. The other ones get more candy canes by singing at the Kareokie at the Santa Singers contest that happenes every weekend. I enjoy it.


Who likes eggnog? Not me! Each Christmas, we celebrate Christmas by drinking eggnog. Eww! It’s-honestly, not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings here-gross. Instead, I drink Chocolate Milk but it’s kind-of embarrassing because everyone’s looking at me with a stare like I smell like dead fish. Speaking of fish, my big brother FISHes! Heh, get it? “Fish”? No? Ok.


Most of the time, we walk around the north pole singing Christmas caroles, strolling by the vicious polar bears. AHH! THERE’S ONE CHASING ME RIGHT NOW! HEEL, DOGGY! HEEL-


Whoops, sorry for that scary interlude. Where were we again? Oh, right! Caroling! Wait, I finished that… moving onto Summer! Mr. Clause always traveles to Spain for the summer! Belive it or not, he’s actually a good swimmer! He even speaks their native language! His brother: Saint. Nick lives there now after he retired from his job. Can I leave you in on a little secret? You REALLY do not want to see Nick swimming. He looks like a fish in the desert!


Oh my gosh, it’s almost time to get off my lunch break! Have a motivated day! :D


-Xavier